After posting my last blog on how to manage living in a vehicle if you’re in a sudden financial emergency, I realized that so much of the nomad information out there is so SERIOUS.
The challenges of nomad life are frequently discussed in nomad groups: where to park, how to get mail, deal with law enforcement, make money on the road, deal with safety and so on … but it’s rare to see the comedic side of the nomad experience.
As a group nomads are pretty unfettered by what our society deems “serious,” and for sure nomads know how to party … but I wanted to lighten up a bit after the serious “what if you become suddenly homeless” blog.
I even wrote a book in 2019, Top Ten Lists For Nomads: The (Mostly) Lighter Side Of Nomadic Life, to capture some of the humor found in living as a nomad. Having a sense of humor is one of the life-skills that can make meeting the challenges of nomadic living a bit less stressful for sure!
The format of the book Top Ten Lists For Nomads was inspired by an old talk show … if you’re old enough you might remember Late Night with David Letterman, who had a comedic segment listing ten items, all related to a common theme.
Here’s a few excerpts taken from TOP TEN LISTS FOR NOMADS: THE (MOSTLY) LIGHTER SIDE OF NOMADIC LIFE:
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON.
- A HERD of scorpions comes galloping into your campsite.
- Camped near a shooting range, you hear two ricochets and the next morning you find 2 neatly shaped bullet holes in your screen tent. (True story!)
- You check the weather report and find 100 + degree days coming soon, or conversely, below freezing nights.
- The ranger tells you to.
- You suddenly get bored looking at the same trees, cactus, mountains. You’re a nomad for heavens sake!
- The deranged muttering of the neighbor camped next to you is getting louder every day.
- The scenery is gorgeous, but you’re totally DONE with not having a cell signal!
- Another nomad tells you of a beautiful spot, and you’ve never been there!.
- You love your spot in the woods/desert/beach, but the neighbors are driving you insane.
- You haven’t seen all the places!
Here’s a few more:
TOP TEN REASONS TO NOT GET OUT OF YOUR VEHICLE AT NIGHT.
- Scorpions!
- Someone yelling, “RATTLESNAKE!!!”
- It gets really dark!
- There might be a Big-Foot out there.
- Aliens.
- All the bugs.
- Did I say it’s really dark?
- Someone or something might be waiting for you out there, like bears. Even worse, bears holding a grudge.
- It’s always at night when you hear a strange noise and your brain chooses that time to remind you, “Remember the ax-murderer serial- killer in the Adirondack forest back in the ’70’s for God’s sake???”
- Those strange creepy noises.
TOP TEN STRUGGLES OF LIVING IN IN A TINY SPACE
- It is unbelievably easy to lose things! I swear it’s easier to lose things in a van than in a big house!
- At some point, nomads realize they STILL have too much STUFF!
- Getting through the initial purge and letting go of your past.
- If you don’t put things back in the EXACT SAME PLACE every time, you’re doomed to spend precious minutes and hours of your life looking for your phone charger.
- Learning the priceless lesson that life experiences are more important than how much stuff we have.
- Still banging your head on the ceiling light fixtures in the mini-van, even after 2 years.
- For some of us, not being able to stand up in our home on wheels.
- If you have a romantic partner and you’re in a small vehicle, sex positions are somewhat limited.
- Keeping things organized!
- If you want to add an item, you’ll first have to carefully consider where you’ll fit the thing you want to buy, and what thing you must get rid of to fit the new thing you want to buy.
It’s a cute little book that is NOT meant as a how-to book or a comprehensive guide, but mostly for fun. I wrote it as a way to share the ups and downs, the humor and occasional dark sides of nomadic life. If you’re a nomad you’ll definitely recognize yourself, and if not you’ll get a little slice of nomad life.
Some other topics covered are Top Ten Ways Nomads Recognize Each Other, Top Ten Things Nomads Frequently Discuss, Top Ten Things Found In a Nomad’s Grocery Cart, Top Ten Most Scary Things About Being A Nomad, Top Ten Lists For Nomads Getting Intimate… you get the idea. 😉
The modern nomadic movement attracts beings from all walks of life, a never ending kaleidoscope of temperaments on the road. The noble nomad knows how to keep her/himself and the environment clean, be a faithful steward of the earth, and be respectful to his/her fellow humans on the planet. While there are always exceptions, the modern day nomad isn’t a thief, or slacker. We contribute economically to the areas we visit, buying gas, provisions, and doing touristy things. And most of us have a pretty darn good sense of humor!
P.S. If you’re offended by swearing or poop talk, this book probably isn’t for you.
P.S.S. This is all in fun, and not meant to offend.
*** NO NOMADS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BOOK. All characters are fictional and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or any actual events, is purely coincidental. If you’re one of my nomadic friends, this book isn’t about you … but you may have given me some creative inspiration along the way!
